Sexuality is one of the greatest and mysterious experiences a human can have. Undeniably, it is one of the most potentially gratifying of life’s activities. Part of the passage is that we are sometimes not aware of the role and impact our sexual activity has on ourselves and others. A fear of sexual experiences or a quest to have sexual experiences can be life-defining.
Judeo-Christian beliefs mandate that our sexuality be expressed within marraige, but no one can deny that the motives and behavior of our sexuality is as complicated as the struggle for good an evil itself.
As with everything else in our life, sex is governed by our intentions, beliefs and impulses. So is marraige. One can look at sex, marraige and both together. To make marraiges work in any society there is a certain amount of education and some would say “indoctrination” necessary from a young age. If marraige is a fusion of the sexes, a harmony between the very different genders, the engineering must start at the beginning. The son is told, “Your sister is different than you”. “When you want to play with your sister, tell her, don’t just run up and hit her, she doesn’t understand that like your (male) friend does”. When they are older, you tell your son, ” a girl appreciates a thoughtful gift”. There is a molding which is a preparation for future marital harmony.
And yes, it is politically incorrect. The robotic mantra still goes, “men and women are the same…”, which unfortunately came out of men and women not being appreciated for their sometimes very different gifts being used at home and in the workplace.
The great golfer Tiger Woods is now more like a Tiger LOST in the woods. At this moment, his numerous infidelities revealed, tales of nude photos and now an unknown, unconscious woman taken from his home on life-support. Not only will this not have a good ending, whatever good beginning was present, will have to be dug up at some point, if ever.
The horrible truth for us all is that in some part of life, and for some, during a great deal of life, you will not be getting your sexual needs met. And, you will make conscious decisions over and over as to what price you and others will pay to have your needs met. It appears the path of Woods leaves a door open for sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. Meanwhile, a presumably faithful wife is overwhelmed with grief and anger and two little babies are unaware that their destinies have been forever changed.
One has to wonder if the turn of events would be the same if Tiger’s Dad was alive. The same Dad that held the little arms straight on the toy golf club set and helped the body sway the right way, molding. The Dad who supervised every practice session and bought the “good clubs” so his son could have an advantage.
While we’ll never know the answer to that question, we do know that for Tiger, like us, sexual conduct does not occur in a vacuum. Whatever happens in a “dark place” often finds itself later, squinting from the flood of light it has created, in our minds, bodies, other relationships and in our communities.
Choose carefully.
